Let me start off by asking you one question, what do you love about yourself? It's okay if you hesitated; many people do but let me help get you to a point where you can answer that question instantly, and with confidence.
I used to be the girl who smiled but behind the smile I carried so much pain. I didn't like the person I was and I wasn't confident in my own skin. Brokenness can cause self-destruct and it can also cause you to unknowingly hurt other people. I always heard this saying growing up that "hurt people, hurt people." it would confuse me because the person saying it was saying the same thing. Until I got older I thought about it like, dag that's absolutely right hurt people really do hurt people. To be honest, I was one of them! I hurt people by shutting them out of my life and allowing myself to say words I can never take back. If you follow me I mentioned before that I grew up working hard for everything I have now, and the roads that I traveled weren't on cruise control.
Past baggage can do some damage to people but it's up to you to figure out if it's going to break you. For instance, I was in a relationship that consisted of me loving the person I was with more than myself. I woke up thinking about that person, and didn't want to be away from him, I was very dependent on him and insecure with myself. It wasn't until years later, yes I said years that I had to get set free from the soul tie I had between my ex. I had to understand that I was worth more than what other people thought and what I thought about myself. Once I came to the realization that I needed to surrender myself to my beliefs because I was brought with a price and needed to honor my body. I couldn't possibly let a man or anyone define my worth, because I am fearfully and wonderfully made and in God's eyes he loves me despite my flaws and forgived my past mistakes.
You have to begin to transform your thoughts by saying you are worthy, despite being broken, despite the rejection, despite the abuse, despite the affairs, despite the hell you have been through or are going through. Loving yourself enough to know that despite what others may think of you or even the words they say have no authority over what God say's about you. When I was about 12 years old my face began to breakout in a red rash around my nose and forehead. It was so itchy and painful, it burned so bad and being fair skinned people noticed it, there was no way I could hide it. During that time it made me very self-conscious, I walked around with my hand covering my face and noticed the whispers in class that sometimes ended up with me shutting down and storming out.
Not knowing until I went to the dermatologist I learned I had a skin condition called seborrheic dermatitis that affects my scalp and skin, and also found out my father suffers from the same condition. Still to this day I have to check myself when I have flair ups because due to past experiences I worried about what others would say. No, I'm going to walk proud and if I feel like it I'll cover up the redness with a little foundation (makeup blog and video coming soon). Let me just be the one to tell you, everyone will have an opinion about you, you have to understand that you have the authority to accept other people's opinions or not.
I have to be honest, self-examination it's not easy it's tough. If your a little stubborn like I can be at times you don't want to hear what you need to fix about yourself but, in order to repair the brokenness to truly love yourself you have to face the good, the bad and the ugly. During my season of self-evaluation, I came across my favorite bible verse "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. It should be that of the inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quite spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 1 Peter 3:3-4. When I read these words I cried like a baby, it convicted me so much and changed my life in an instant.
If you're finding it hard to love yourself, I challenge you today to take one step to become a better you, write down all the things you like about yourself and all the things you need to do to change in order for you to personally grow. Say this affirmation daily: